October, 1990 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE Page 9

Alive & Well

by Kyle

A friend of mine, who is HIV positive, recently told me about a conversation he had had with a friend of his. To make a long story short, my friend had been dating someone he really cared for, maybe even loved. The relationship had not been consecrated but, if the joy I witnessed as he told me this was any indication, the prospects looked real good that it would be. He was glowing all over and it was an absolutely beautiful thing to see.

"And as I was telling them all this," he said, "they just looked at me kind of concerned and asked, 'How are you going to deal with that?'

"I don't understand," I interrupted my friend. What was there to deal with? It all sounded pretty wonderful to me.

"Well," he replied, "they just haven't figured out yet that we still live."

"Oh," was all I could say as the meaning behind these words slowly sunk in. As I once again encountered that awful sense of futility that we so easily associate with AIDS. And I said a silent thank you that my friend was not a victim of this tragic apathy but rising above it, happily alive and in love.

Later, as I thought about writing this column, that conversation played over and over again in my head. It was the perfect introduction for so many topics that I would like to discuss: sex, love, career goals and personal dreams to name a few. But it was more than any of these, more even than all of these. Its greatest meaning lay in its powerful innuendo.

"They just haven't figured out yet that we still live."

Perhaps what strikes the deepest chord is that "they" and "we" is not a spectrum or non-spectrum generalization. It would be much easier if I could say that it's just the people whose lives haven't been touched by AIDS that don't understand that we still live. But I can't. AIDS is still a death sentence for many people in the spectrum as well and that's where it hits the hardest. They haven't figured out yet that we still live.

The fact is that AIDS is not a death sentence. It is an opportunity to accept our mortality and every one of us has been diagnosed as mortal. It is an opportunity to reach inside of ourselves and step beyond the limitations we have set for ourselves. And this is where the seemingly contradictory platitudes come in: “AIDS is teaching us how to live;" "We're not dying of AIDS but living because of it;" and words like opportunity and challenge.

It's really not as crazy as it sounds. It's just a matter of values and choices. Accepting our mortality can mean we're all dying if that's the way we choose to see it. It can also mean we're all living life if that is what we value. We can become so caught up in whatever ails us that we die on schedule with our worst expectations, or we can be so busy taking care of ourselves and living life to its fullest that the very idea of a schedule ceases to exist.

Now I know that this goes against the mainstream American Dream, glossy magazine ads and status quo that keep us all so busily buried in the stress of getting somewhere and becoming something that we honestly don't have the time to be here and now and happy in this very minute. But I think that if you stop for a minute and think about it you'll see the point.

Do it now. Stop whatever you're busy with and make a list of all the things that are most important to you. What are they? Your car, house, furniture, wardrobe?

Boyfriend, girlfriend, family? Maybe your job, career or hobby? Write them all down.

Now ask yourself what you would do if this were your last day on earth. After all, you could be killed by a car the next time you cross the street, so it isn't a completely ridiculous thought. Seriously think about it. This is it. You're going to die. Twenty-four real-time hours in your real day-to-day world is all you have and it's over and done with. Kaput. Finished. Gone.

Now look at your list again and tell me what is most important to you. Maybe it sounds morbid but I play this game all the time. Whenever I start going crazy worrying, planning, hoping or just being plain afraid, I do this. And the reality is that it's alright because most of the things on that list are extras. They're decorations-necessary in a convenient way for day-to-day functioning, but they are not life and death

considerations. When it comes down to that last day, the bank account and job security are worthless. Friends, family, conversation and a hug, a feeling of peace, a single moment of happiness-real honest to goodness inside heartwarming happiness are all that we really want, what we're searching for, and hoping that someday we can have.

But we can have them now. That's all there is to it. It's not a lot of pseudointellectual philosophy or mystical mumbojumbo. It's a bottom line, down-to-earth matter of values and choices. It's as easy as we let it be. It's quality, not quantity. And that's how we still live.

We still live and love and laugh and cry and we do our damnedest to do them today. Not for tomorrow and not because of yesterday. Now is the only time that any of us really have and we can fill it with

We Are Everywhere

by John Hubert

Thailand Anjaree is the name of the first officially announced lesbian organization in Bangkok, Thailand in modern history.

Anjaree has taken over the work of the Asian Lesbian Network, started by Tang Unchana Sumannanond and others in 1989, and also the Ladies Lodge, a low cost hostel for traveling lesbians and other women, which will also now be known as Anjaree.

Additionally, Anjaree will host the first Asian Lesbian Conference in Thailand on December 7-10, 1990.

The conference will bring together eighty Asian lesbians from at least eleven countries in the region, as well as Asian lesbians currently residing in the U.S., Europe and other lands. The Asian Lesbian Network and Anjaree are requesting dona-

tions to help with the costs of the conference and to bring delegates from Asian countries to this historic conference.

During the conference there will be an opening party in the evening of December 7 in a gay restaurant in Bangkok for both participants and local lesbians.

The plenary sessions, workshops and cultural activities will take place during three days and two nights at the conference site, a small beach resort town about 200 kilometers from Bangkok.

For more information write to: ALN, c/ o Anjaree, P.O. Box 322, Rajdamnern, Bangkok 10200, Thailand.

Ireland Openly gay Irish Senator David Norris waited patiently one night last June, until there were only two other senators present in chambers, the minimum required for debate. Norris then

FRAN ROSEN

• Astrology • Tarot

• Classes

• Private Consultations •Lectures

216/261-2610

DEBRA L. DUNKLE, A.C.S.W.,L.I.S.W.

CUNICAL SOCIAL WORKER

ANDREW PETER BEEBE, Ph.D.

PSYCHOLOGIST

AND ASSOCIATES

a lesbian and gay psychotherapy practice

12429 Cedar Road, Suite 23 Cleveland Heights, Ohio 44106

wonderful things that put our fears to shame if we choose to. And suddenly we're not "still living" but really living. Yes, we live.

Perhaps what strikes the highest note in all of this is that it is not a "they" and "we" thing. Yes, it is a life and death issue for many of us but it is also an opportunity for everyone. A challenge we can all rise to, a winderful chance for each of us to appreciate life more fully, experience love more richly and welcome the happiness that is already here.

And live.

The Living Room is located next door to the Lesbian-Gay Community Service Center at 1410 West 29th St. You can stop in between 3:00 and 8:00 p.m. Monday through Friday. The phone number is 5221998. ▼

proposed that the three of them vote out the Republic of Ireland's 1916 sodomy law, which they proceeded to do.

The prime minister was furious, but since the European Parliament had already required Ireland to discard its sodomy laws, there was little he could do.

Ghana Club De Legayes is a gay group in Accra, Ghana, West Africa which is seeking international contacts and gifts of gay and lesbian publications for their new library.

They have operated underground for some time and are now attempting to become legalized. To offer support, write to Enos Jeffreys, Club De Legayes, Bubuiashie, Atico, Box 3879, Accra, Ghana

Vintage Clothing Jewelry & Accessories

CHELSEA'S

Custom Rentals

1412 W. 116th St. Off of Detroit Cleveland, Ohio 44102

Tues-Sat. 10-6

NANCY WILSON

CATHY KENNEDY

216-226-9147

AIDS Counseling Education Testing Site

Cleveland: 946-2829

Call: 354-AIDS

•

Tuesdays 2-6 p.m.

Walk-ins or

216/229-2100

By Appointment

Free of Charge

Anonymous

Clinic Site

LAKE COUNTY GENERAL HEALTH DISTRICT

105 Main Street Painesville, Ohio 44077